About The Art of Marriage:

• The Art of Marriage is a six-session video event launched February 11, 2011 (2-11-11).
• Takes the content of FamilyLife’s Weekend to Remember marriage getaway and packages it into an engaging, fast-paced video format with dramatic vignettes, expert interviews, personal testimonies, and comedic interludes – The Art of Marriage is NOT a recorded conference or “talking head” video.
• Designed to be executed as a 1 ½ day event in churches, hotels, community centers, retreat sites, etc., but also works as a 6-week, extended small group or classroom resource.
• Video has both English and Spanish subtitles.

About the launch:

• Over 600 events were held February 11-13, with over 30,000 people in attendance.
• Event sizes ranged from 2 couples to over 400.
• Events held in 47 states and worldwide in Australia, Azerbaijan, The Bahamas, Canada, Korea, Marianas Islands, Mexico, New Zealand, & Nigeria.

Now:

• Over 2000 events have been held or scheduled, with an estimated total attendance in excess of 120,000 people, from all 50 states and 20 countries.
• 98% of attendees surveyed would be either “Extremely Likely” or “Very Likely” to recommend The Art of Marriage to someone else.
• Spanish manuals are now available.

Looking Ahead:

• Mandarin (Chinese) translation of manuals and video underway with completion before end of year.
• Producing a small group version with shortened video sessions; planned release in early 2012.

http://latino.foxnews.com/latino/news/2011/10/03/mexico-city-considers-two-year-marriages/

Pat Robertson Says Divorce Okay if Spouse has Alzheimers | Liveblog | Christianity Today.

By contrast, a number of years ago FamilyLife created the McQuilken Award to honor covenant keeping love. It was named in honor of its first recipient, Robertson McQuilken, who demonstrated that by caring for his wife Muriel after she was diagnosed with Alzheimers, eventually resigning from his post as President of Columbia International University. You can watch a short video of his speech announcing his resignation below or read his book about it called A Promise Kept.

Here are two videos to provide contrast. What do you think about Pat Robertson’s statement?

Robertson McQuilken’s Statement

Pat Robertson’s Statement

• Over 600 events held February 11-13;    Over 30,000 people
• Events held in 47 states and in Australia, Azerbaijan, The Bahamas, Canada, Korea, Marianas Islands, Mexico, New Zealand, & Nigeria.
• 97% of attendees surveyed would be either “Extremely Likely” or “Very Likely” to recommend The Art of Marriage to someone else.

Host Stories and Responses:

• It was amazing. We had over 80 people.  A husband in the 50+ age group committed his life to Jesus! There were numerous comments about husbands and wife’s marriages and attitudes being changed. One mom of many children said she and her husband are talking again. Everything loved the entertaining format. I was surprised that there was not a speaker at a podium in the whole conference! It was so fast paced and engaging that we joked that it was ADHD-proof!
• The videos and conference were AMAZING. 90 couples attended, and 9 individuals indicated that they had received Christ. Praise the Lord!
• It was very well received and God obviously worked through it. Of the 54 couples in attendance, we know of 3 that were separated or on the brink of divorce that were reconciled and 4 that were saved, 3 of whom asked the church for follow up.
• Our senior pastor and our Elders were overwhelmed with the turnout, and how the event was put on. We are guessing that approximately 2/3 of attendees were from our church, and the rest from other churches, (or no church at all). I challenged those couples to put on this event in their own churches.

Guest Stories and Responses:

• My wife and I enjoyed every moment of it. We have been married for 25 years, have two fantastic sons that are grown now and are working desperately to reconnect. Just a few months ago we were separated due to our unhappiness together. We were already back together before coming to the conference but have still been struggling. We plan to go back thru the workbook and continue to work on our relationship.
• I’m thrilled to come to this. It was a great refresher for seeking to have a Christ-centered marriage.
• This was the best $50 we’ve ever spent!
• This was the best marriage enhancer we’ve been to.
• FamilyLife accomplished much more than just putting together a Biblically-based, deep, hard-hitting, humorous, instructive, artistic, technically flawless marriage conference. You introduced people to the Savior. You have impacted and furthered the Kingdom of God to the praise and honor of Him whom sits on the throne. Thank you once again!
• Many couples feel that if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it. There is not any reason why the happiest couple to the one in the most trouble should not attend….this was a Do or Die weekend for my marriage – I have been truly blessed!!
• This was the best marriage enhancer we’ve been to.
• This has made a difference in my life and it probably saved our marriage. I’m so very thankful for that. I will fight for her and our family. THANK YOU!!
• This was affordable and not a huge time commitment for those with families. It started with the nuts and bolts and made an excellent presentation of the Gospel. It was so good for anyone at any place in their marriage.
• Overall, this was hope-renewing. I learned that the power of the resurrection applies to strained marriages.

According to my understanding of Scripture, this is an issue that really is not even up to man to decide. God created marriage and he defines it. In fact, it is God who joins man and wife together in marriage, not the preacher or the justice of the peace (Matt 19:6). So until God starts marrying men and men or women and women, they are not, in fact, married, regardless of what the courts, legislature or President say.

Government drops defense of anti-gay-marriage law – Yahoo! News.

Fox News: http://video.foxnews.com/v/4553761/obama-claims-defense-of-marriage-act-is-unconstitutional

Morning Bell: On Valentine’s Day, Share the Word About the Benefits of Marriage | The Foundry: Conservative Policy News..

Baptist Press – FIRST-PERSON: The Christian divorce rate myth (what you’ve heard is wrong) – News with a Christian Perspective.

I couldn’t wait to email you and tell you what we thought of the Art of Marriage videos. In two words, CLEARLY OUTSTANDING! Visually stunning, the acting was amazing, the music was just enough to enhance each scene and not distract. The message was fresh in its delivery, thought provoking and extremely clear. This is the best family help video series I’ve ever seen. Job well done!
I know I said it before but the follow-through of theaming was amazing. D. and I held hands, kissed and hugged each other while we watched it. We cried, laughed and cried more. We met with our two son’s (who are eight and ten) and explained why we were watching these videos and why it was so importation to share this message. We can’t wait to present it to our small fellowship group of 20 couples at EVFree. You’ve now set the bar at a new level for other family organizations. Blessings to you and Family Life Today for loving, caring and giving to marriages.

I’ve been reading Dietrich Bonhoeffer’s classing The Cost of Discipleship over this Christmas break. In it he is describing what really following Jesus looks like and spends a significant portion of the book unpacking the Sermon on the Mount. Chapter 12 (Revenge) deals with Matt 5:38-42 and Chapter 13 (The Enemy – The “Extraordinary”) with Matt 5:43-48. Several portions of those chapters seemed particularly convicting and relevant to me. That section discussed in Chapter 12 reads as follows:

[38] “You have heard that it was said, ‘An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth.’ [39] But I say to you, Do not resist the one who is evil. But if anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also. [40] And if anyone would sue you and take your tunic, let him have your cloak as well. [41] And if anyone forces you to go one mile, go with him two miles. [42] Give to the one who begs from you, and do not refuse the one who would borrow from you.

(Matthew 5:38-42 ESV)

In Chapter 12, Bonhoeffer asserts

The only way to overcome evil is to let it run itself to a standstill because it does not find the resistance it is looking for. Resistance merely creates further evil and adds fuel to the flames. But when evil meets no opposition and encounters no obstacle but only patient endurance, its sting is drawn, and at last it meets an opponent which is more than its match. Of course this can only happen when the last ounce of resistance is abandoned, and teh renunciation of revenge is complete. Then evil cannot find its mark, it can breed no further evil, and is left barren.

But most of us read that and fear that it is simply an impractical ideal that will just cause us to be overrun by evil. To that, Bonhoeffer responds:

How then can the precept of Jesus be justified in the light of experience? It is obvious that weakness and defenselessness only invite aggression. Is then the demand of Jesus nothing but an impractical ideal? Does he refuse to face up to realities – or shall we say, to the sin of the world? …

Jesus, however, tells us that it is just because we live in the world, and just because the world is evil, that the precept of non-resistance must be put into practice. Surely we do not wish to accuse Jesus of ignoring the reality and power of evil! Why, the whole of his life was one long conflict with the devil. He calls evil evil, and that is the very reason why he speaks to his followers in this way. How is that possible?

If we took the precept of non-resistance as an ethical blueprint for general application, we should indeed be indulging in idealistic dreams: we should be dreaming of a utopia with laws which the world would never obey. To make non-resistance a principle for secular life is to deny God, by undermining his gracious ordinance for the preservation of the world. But Jesus is no draughtsman fo political blueprints, he is the one who vanquished evil through suffering. It looked as though evil had triumphed on the cross, but the real victory belonged to Jesus.

This took me a bit to unravel, but what I believe Bonhoeffer is saying is that non-resistance to evil is not intended by Jesus to be a statement about how we should enforce laws and whether we should punish criminals. It is about how we as individuals must respond to those who perpetrate evil against us, even if we find ourselves married to those people. And Jesus is the ultimate example of one who conquered the evil that was perpetrated against him by patient endurance and suffering, looking to win the spiritual battle rather than the earthly one. In other words, like Christ, we must be more concerned with the spiritual welfare of our “enemies” than with protecting our own physical welfare. Tough stuff!

Chapter 13 then looks at Matt 5:43-48, which reads as follows:

[43] “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ [44] But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, [45] so that you may be sons of your Father who is in heaven. For he makes his sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust. [46] For if you love those who love you, what reward do you have? Do not even the tax collectors do the same? [47] And if you greet only your brothers, what more are you doing than others? Do not even the Gentiles do the same? [48] You therefore must be perfect, as your heavenly Father is perfect.

In commenting on this, Bonhoeffer says:

To the natural man, the very notion of loving  his enemies is an intolerable offense, and quite beyond his capacity: it cuts right across his ideas of good and evil. … Jesus, however, takes the law of God in his own hands and expounds its true meaning. …

By our enemies Jesus means those who are quite intractable and utterly unresponsive to our love, who forgive us nothing when we forgive them all, who requite our love with hatred and our service with derision. …

“Love your enemies.” No sacrifice which a lover would make for his beloved is too great for us to make for our enemy. If out of love for our brother we are willing to sacrifice goods, honor and life, we must be prepared to do the same for our enemy. We are not to imagine that this is to condone his evil; such a love proceeds from strength rather than weakness, from truth rather than fear, and therefore it cannot be guilty of the hatred of another.

“Bless them that persecute you.” If our enemy cannot put up with us any longer and takes to cursing us, our immediate must be to lift up our hands and bless him. Our enemies are the blessed of the Lord. Their curse can do us no harm. … We are ready to endure their curses so long as they redound to their blessing.

“Do good to them that hate you.” We must love not only in thought and word, but in deed. Nowhere is service more necessary or more blessed than when we serve our enemies.

“Pray for them which despitefully use you and persecute you.” This is the supreme demand. Through the medium of prayer we go to our enemy, stand by his side, and plead for him to God. Jesus does not promise that when we bless our enemies and do good to them they will not despitefully use and persecute us. They certainly will. But not even that can hurt or overcome us, so long as we pray for them. For if we pray for them, we are taking their distress and poverty,m their guilt and perdition upon ourselves, and pleading to God for them. We are doing vicariously for them what they cannot do for themselves. Every insult they utter only serves to bind us more closely to God and them. Their persecution of us only serves to bring them nearer to reconciliation with God and to further the triumphs of love.

How then does love conquer? By asking not how the enemy treats her but only how Jesus treated her. The love for our enemies takes us along the way of the cross and into fellowship with the Crucified. The more we are driven along this road, the more certain is the victory of love over the enemy’s hatred. For then it is not the disciple’s (our) own love, but the love of Jesus Christ alone, who for the sake of his enemies went to the cross and prayed for them as he hung there.

The disciple can now perceive that even his enemy is the object of God’s love, and that he stands like himself beneath the cross of Christ. God asked us nothing about our virtues or our vices, for in his sight even our virtue was ungodliness. God’s love sought out his enemies who needed it.

So, we are called to love our enemies as God loved his and the more that we do that, the more that we are driven close to the Savior and identify with him. By praying for our enemies when they hurt us, we actually take the evil and turn it to actually drive them closer to receiving God’s love and forgiveness. That’s the real message here, that the truth is they are not our enemy but we share a common enemy, the Enemy of our Souls.

So, whether your “enemies” today are found outside your home or inside it, will you take the challenge of Christ to love them and pray for them? It is a challenging path but it is the one that leads to ultimate (spiritual) victory and it is the one our Savior took for us.

So what do you think?

Nearly 40% say marriage is becoming obsolete – USATODAY.com.

What are your thoughts?